I don't remember Being Happy When I was a Kid!

I don’t remember the date of the last day I drove my ice cream truck. This bothers me. I know it was sometime in November.

I don't remember why this is important to me. I don't remember the last ice cream item I sold when I was driving. I don't remember why I am writing this.

I don’t remember lots of stuff from when I was a kid. I don’t remember being happy when I was a kid. I wasn't happy most of my life.

I guess that is why my ice cream selling and the joy and happiness it gave me was so important. It was like feeling the joy I never felt when I was little. I really want to have that joy and feeling again. I don’t remember being that happy kid that runs up to buy an n ice cream from me.

I see young girls and wonder what their life is like for them. I don’t remember being that age. I don’t remember feeling joy as a kid, or even as a young adult. I want to feel that joy again.

I want to live each day being happy I really am in a weird mood with this writing.
I don’t know what to write about so I am just rambling now.

I do remember joy from creating things. I used to really love to sew and now I don’t seem to find time to do that anymore.

I really think maybe I should start to do more of that again.
I am very scattered in my interests.

I have too many things going and am not very organized.

I am putting all my writing out there in hopes someone will comment and help me figure out where I am at. I really want to succeed in my life at something.

I don't feel like much of a success in my life at anything. Maybe that is why my ice cream truck is so important.

I was a success at that. I can understand from this perspective why most people do not understand the pain that I am suffering because it is gone.

It isn't as important, they cannot relate to what it means to me.

I guess with that understanding, I should be able to deal with it better. I guess only time will tell on that one huh.

It is amazing what comes out of you when you force to write for a certain time. I don’t remember the last time I did morning pages.

This is just like morning pages but I can attempt it anytime of the day. Thank you Natalie Goldberg for this.

I am excited to read the rest of her book. I got through the first two chapters and decided her suggestions about writing rules would make a pretty neat little piece of software.

I am still in the mode for that. I can see myself using this software quite often. I wonder if anybody else will find it as useful as me. There goes the timer wow 10 minutes done already.
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