I Remember, (a post about my Stolen Blue Jeans Ice Cream Truck)

I remember when I was happy and my truck was sitting out in my driveway. I had no idea anyone would even think of stealing it.

Now I find myself belittling and putting myself down all the time because I was so stupid.

I look at tall the junk in my garage and wonder why I ever thought that was more important than my ice cream truck

I find myself asking questions like, why didn't I just haul all that stuff to goodwill and put my truck in the garage?

Then I wonder to myself would they have tried to steal it if I had covered it with a tarp like I did last year.

Would they have tried to steal it if it were in the garage? What the hell could they have wanted it for?
What are they doing with it now? Do they have any idea how much stealing it from me has disrupted my life? Do they even care?

What type of low life would do this?
Why haven't the cops recovered it yet? How do I get past this?
How am I supposed to get back into living normally without my ice cream truck?

I guess I will have to create a new normal in my life. I really can't see that new normal now. I want so much for things to be the way they were before it was stolen. I don't want to let go of that life. But I have no idea how I am going to replace this ice cream truck in my current situation.

I also have no idea how I can get the funds to keep the story alive and get the media coverage to help me find it. I am running out of hope. I remember driving it and being so happy. Will I get that chance again?

The future seems so uncertain to me now. I really want to be able to have some control and power over my future and I currently feel that that has been stolen from me too.

I remember when I could look at my truck in my driveway and smile. Now every time I go outside all I see is an empty spot. That empty spot just leaves a pit in my stomach and sadness in my heart.

How am I suppose to let go of this and get pat it I really don't know how to go on day today without thinking about all the wonderful times I sold ice cream in my truck.

I think about all the troubles we had with mechanical stuff last year and how excited I was for this season to start because I knew my truck was finally running good.

How am I supposed to let go of these thoughts. What am I suppose to replace them with. I really would like to move on but I really feel stuck right now.

I am so tired of the "story" I want to move on to a new and better one.

From the count of who is talking about my stolen truck on face book it looks like everyone else is moving on. What am I suppose to-do?

All I really can do is journal write and get these feelings out and try to deal with them. So that is what I am doing. I feel a pit in my stomach as I write them. I can't believe I am still focusing on this two weeks later.

I can’t believe the truck hasn't been found somewhere yet, even if they have tore it. Wouldn't they be done with it by now?
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